Lets start by saying Halong Bay is incredible.

If you’re in Vietnam you have to go. If you’re planning to go to Vietnam you have to swing by. If you’re not sure where to go on holiday you should consider a visit. If you’re not even planning on leaving the house today you should at least look it up online. No photos capture quite how mind blowing it is. But we took a bunch anyway.

If you want a brief summery of what we did so you can look at the photos it’s:

• arrive,
• boat jumping,
• bike riding,
• hiking,
• Cat Ba National Park,
• sea swimming,
• jelly fish holding,
• plankon playing,
• kayaking
• travel back.

With a few vodkas sandwiched inbetween.

If you want a more detailed description though, read on my friends…

So we did a three day and two night tour with Central Backpackers Hostel to Halong Bay (10 out of 10 would reccomend) and yeah it was pretty special. All our meals, transport, and hire of bikes and kayaks were included, plus free shots on the hour every hour in the evenings. Handy.

Day 1:

Meet at 7.30am at the hostel, meet our group and guide called Panda (because of his tan lines and because he likes to sleep), get a bus, boat, bus then ferry (meet our other 2 guides Brady and Ruby) sail to Halong Bay in amazing sunshine. Have beers, have lunch on the boat, have beers, did some swimming (the sea was full of jellies) beers, sailed to our own private island where we would be staying with the other guys on the tour who had already completed their first day, did some beer pong, some volley ball, more drinks and dinner.

3rd from the left was ours. Sharing with 6 others.

Private island, private beach.

Day 2:

Cat Ba National Park

Boat ride to Cat Ba National Park, bike ride through the island and village, then a super steep hot and humid hike in the jungle (sweat dripping from elbows), hung about up the top for a bit, cos frankly we’d spent an hour trekking up there and were not about to come down quickly, plus we were dead. Like Toasted. Proper brown bread.

Everyone is completely soaked.

We biked back to our boat, had lunch, lazed a bit in the sun before going back to our island where a bunch of us hung out in the sea whilst the sun was setting, this is when the holding of the jelly fish happened. Panda, the Jelly Fish Whisperer caught them, (they didn’t sting and it was as weird as it sounds). Our final night of festivities was a bit insane, it was such a good job that the island was private. Once it was dark we went in the sea to see the plankton glow up. Seriously the craziest most beautiful, surreal experience ever in the most incredible place. Like you couldn’t make it up to be better.

Day 3:

We went kayaking around a few of the islands in Halong Bay, and got to go past some fishing villages a bit closer this time, the guard dogs went literally barking mad, (they’re trained to attack people they don’t recognise that come too close to the fishing village, for real) and just learnt a bit more about the area, I really feel this has been quite the educational trip. Like did you know that it’s free to live on an island in Halong Bay? Or that barnacles are razer sharp. Or that people on the fishing villages never ever go to land, they get land sick. Or that they have made a boat out of concrete? Dafuuuk! Yeah so then we headed back to Hanoi about 12.30pm.

The food was great we both ate baby squid (quick review: chewy but the tentacles are the best bit). Jack ate a load of oysters, like 6 maybe? And Nicola loves tofu.

People say it all the time, that their group on the tour were great, but ours actually were. There was 10 of us in total; Nick, Will from the UK, Chloe from Scotland, Brie and Jake from Australia, Kasper from Denmark, Cambell from the USA, Amelia from Germany. Plus our guides and the other guys who were on the tour the day before too who we met up with back at the hostel. Everyone was ace.

It was so much fun. Ridiculous levels of fun. The hangover today? Not so much fun.

Plus you know it was a good tour when everyone is crashed out on the way back and in full on REM sleep.

And sleep is most defiantly required as we all decided to go to Sapa together tomorrow at 6.30am.

Copy and paste the address below, the link isn’t working.

https://gopro.com/v/Llpr0WkBo5MQ
https://gopro.com/v/Llpr0WkBo5MQ

We’ll keep it brief-ish as it’s 7am and our brains are sweating already, we’re going on a trip to Halong Bay until Wednesday for a bit of sight seeing, boat jumping and beer drinking. Our rough plan is to come back to Hanoi next Wednesday for one more night, pick up a squash delivery (thanks Ian) then head to Sapa on Thursday for a couple of nights before heading to Ninh Binh.

Hanoi has been fun, our lungs are blackened by exhaust fumes but it’s definitely been a blast. Our days have been filled with Google maps, walking, Google maps, coffee, Google translate, walking, some ropey chopsticks eating, and finished with Mcflurries. Everyday has been different but the last few have been great as traffic is banned over the weekend around Hoan Kiem Lake and the surrounding streets and they switch from being full of mopeds to full of locals in huge groups playing games and hanging out. Badminton, street football but with shuttle cocks and breakdancing kids spinning on their heads were everywhere. These guys love an activity. Saturday was the busiest, every man and his dog/monkey (for reals) and school kids practicing their English (I swear we’re easy targets) were out. No traffic meant a break from having to check left, right, forward and behind simultaneously when walking anywhere. However it seems that the best way to cross the road is just simply to walk straight out without hesitation. No biggie. That’s all for now.

Oh and Nicola has been bitten to shit. Tasty blood.

1. It’s hot in Hanoi.

2. The roads are mad.

3. There are mopeds everywhere.

4. Literally everywhere.

5. They’re even on the path….nowhere is safe.

6. Egg coffee is some sort of sorcery and tastes nothing like egg.(it’s amazing!)

7. Salted chicken cartilage tastes as disgusting as it sounds.

8. Beer is cheaper than water. (In some places)

9. Jack needs to nap a lot.

10. Watch where you walk otherwise you really will be brits be tripping on food, uneven pathways, holes, unfinished roads, people….

11. Don’t put toilet paper down the toilet.

12. If you do put toilet paper down the toilet and it blocks close the lid walk away, it wasn’t you.

13. Finding stuff in your bag and getting ready in a bunkbed is hard.

14. Sleeping in a bunkbed is quite fun though.

15. School children will come up to you to practice their English so be prepared. Eg. “Hello big one”

16. There is a free gym at Hoan Kiem lake.

17. However don’t go down in the morning ready to workout as it’s only there at night and you shall look like a wally.

18. Be prepared to sit on kids garden furniture to eat in the street.

19. But be prepared to move inside rapidly when the police come.

20. When the police come they shut it down.

21. Saying thank you is harder than you think. (In Vietnamese)

22. You will sweat. Non-stop.

23. You can buy anything you could ever want.

24. They have whole streets dedicated for one type of item. You want tape? Here’s a whole street of cellotape, masking tape, electrical tape, gaffa tape…

25. You need to be able to look both ways and forward at the same time when crossing the road.

26. No matter how much you scrub, you will always be covered in dirt.

27. You can taste the air pollution.

28. You can haggle the prices down on pretty much everything.

29. Public bathrooms are basic

30. Always carry tissues and wipes.

31. People on the back of the mopeds don’t hold on.

32. People driving the mopeds don’t hold on.

33. Even a family of 5 on a moped, no one is holding on.

34. You need to have a flexible approach to health and safety.

35. Street food smells amazing.

36. We need some more practice eating with chopsticks.

37. Google translate is great for talking to people when no one speaks the others language.

38. Google translate isn’t always accurate though.

39. Pockets full of Dong make you feel like a millionaire at the beginning of the day.

40. Hoan Kiem lake at night is beautiful.

41. Vietnamese people pack as much as they can on mopeds. Family of 5 no problem, crates of beer no problem basically, anything they can load.

42. Maps.me is a life saver when navigating the streets.

43. Despite being a city, Hanoi is full of trees, everywhere.

44. Tall people stick out. (Jack)

45. Museum’s are ok for 10 minutes but after that, zzzzz

46. Vietnamese drivers are probably the best in the world.

47. Railway Street Hanoi is a must see at night, it’s good in the day, but special at night. (Who knew trains could be so exciting)

48. Bring on the next 48 hours!

Time for the second instalment. Today was the day. The day. D Day, (or maybe V Day) two years in the planning and bam suddenly it’s here, we’re off see ya later aligator. Thanks to all the people who’ve helped us in the last few weeks get our shit together, you’re all heavenly and thanks to our families for taking us to the airport. It hasn’t quite sunk in yet, we both feel like we’re on a holiday.

Any way hands up if you survived a long ass haul flight. Our hands are up. All 12 hours and 45 minutes of it. And what a flight is was, decent films, (Greatest Showman multiple times) decent music (Will Smith and ahem Britney), and most importantly decent food, I mean I’ve lost my scarf already and we didn’t learn any Vietnamese on the flight but so far so good.

We’re in Kuala Lumpur at the moment waiting for the connecting flight to Hanoi with a Starbucks. Once we’ve arrived we’ll update you again. Lots of love, Jic