Conundrum

Noun. A confusing or difficult problem or question.

Oh the importance of making the right choice when faced with a decision is tricky. Like the descision between cumpets or bagels, the toughy that is wine or cider, or how about the struggle between shorts and too cold vs leggings and too hot, the decision between Bali or the Philipines was weighty. Both were meant to be great, but where to go? With flights, weather and route to consider, it was indeed a conundrum.

Pondering what to do over a Nandos and a couple of doughnuts, the choice was eventually reached and Indonesia was the lucky winner. We’ll save the Philipines for another trip. And an excellent choice it was just for the sunsets every day:

Java

We planned our route to start in Jakarta, then catch a train to Yogyakarta then a flight onto Bali.

Jakarta we found is hot, hectic and dirty. We stayed for 2 nights and did a tour of the city with a guide who explained to us that Jakarta doesn’t receive alot of western tourists, and then explained why ev.ery.one wanted a photo with us (with thumbs up of course).

Yogyakatya

Throughout Asia we have had the (debatable) pleasure of a lot mother-truckin’ long bus journeys, so this time we caught a train for 8 hours down to Yogyakarta.

We stayed in Yogyakarta (Jogya for short) for a about a week, mainly sight seeing, going to Prambanan Temples, Jalan Mailiboro Street, the Water Castle and going to Mount Merapi Volcano for sunrise.

Bali

Bali was the next destination on our Indonesia adventure. We originally planned to only stay in Bali for a few days but immediately after arriving we found that this was a terrible idea. There is too much to see and do here, to try and cram it into a few days is impossible. Half the fun of Bali is driving about on bikes, lost inbetween ricefields, or up in the mountains trying to find waterfalls whilst speeding away from tropical storms and getting driving fines for not having the proper licence. Seriously.

We divided our stay between Kuta, Ubud, Nusa Lembongan and Canggu and did a whole lot of exploring over 4 weeks at temples, waterfalls, rice fields, beaches and snorkling. Turns out it’s actually impossible to take a bad photo of anything in Bali.

Bali is the land of the gods, full of temples and traditions and totally exceeded expectations. Friendly locals, delicious yet ferociously spicey food and beautiful scenery to blow you away. Bali, we’ll be back.

Yes we were.

No not in that sence, this is SE Asia not Ibiza. Behave you ravers. But as in stuck in Kuala Lumpur our new favourite city.

What started out as a stop over for a few days max turned into three weeks living it up in a hotel, getting gym memberships, becoming bffs with the manager in Nandos and getting free chicken. We just couldn’t leave.

It all started back in Phi Phi, the dreamy Thailand island. At the beginning of January our visas were set to run out so we descided we’d hop across to KL, stay for a day or two then return to our beloved Phi Phi waving our new 30 day visas in the air as the island way of life, was indeed the life for us. We had found an overpriced hotel gym and liked the fact you could walk everywhere on the island as no cars or motorbikes are aloud. (This novelty wears off pronto when running to catch the ferry carrying your ever increasing in weight backpack). That combined with the constant stream of Smirnoff Ices (refreshing at any time of day) and huge pizza slices for 80 Baht we found like we were in on the secret why Phi Phi island and all it’s inhabitants were so happy. So with flights and ferries booked, we were set to leave for Kuala Lumpur on the 9th Jan. However, Jack got a serving of salmonella with his delicious chicken skewer which resulted in a case of food poisoning to end all food poisonings. After spending the night and all the next day on the floor of our bathroom (thank the Lord, Jesus, Mary and Joseph and all his carpenter friends we were not in a dorm with a shared bathroom…) there was no-way-jose we were making that boat off the island. So with new flights booked for the 10th, anti bac wipes within quick easy reach and Jack swigging diluted hydration sachets we set off for KL.

We arrived late in the evening and stayed for 2 nights at our hostel before moving to a hotel close by as Jack was a bag of sick (medical term) and this is an occasion where sharing is definitely not caring.

Content in a bubble of Netflix, free hotel bottled water and dining on doughnuts and nandos. Kuala Lumpur is our kind of city.

KL (as the locals refer to it and we were practically local) is a super clean, modern city full of beautiful shiney skycrapers, with great public transport, friendly locals and where everyone speaks great English. It is also full of places to visit and free attractions. We spent time in

• China Town,
• Pentaling Street haggling down the price of fake Nike trainers to £15,
• Planetarium,
• Deer Park and Botanical Gardens,
• City Gallery,
• Central Market,
• the super high KL Tower,
• City Centre Rainforest Eco Park,
• National Mosque,
• River of Life and
• Selfie Museum.

During the evenings we hung about at the Petronas Towers and shopping malls (I counted 7). Which, by the way blow all other malls we’ve ever visited out the park. Even the food courts have got it going on.

We sunk into what can only be described as the most organically formed and perfect daily routine of:

wake, 7-11, gym, Nandos, Krispy Kreme, sight see, Nandos “extend another night”, Netflix.

Upon reflection, I’m even jelous of how well devised it was.

After 3 weeks of routine, hot showers, insect free rooms, clean beds and smashing our daily step counts we descided to break free from the safe cozy clutch of cool (though tropically hot) Kuala Lumpur and catch a flight to Indonesia.

If there is one thing you have taught us Malaysia, it’s that you’re super friendly and going forward we are more flash packers rather than backpackers now.

The one thing on our list to do in Chiang Mai was visit an elephant sanctuary. We wanted to go to a place where there was no riding and where the animals were treated well. There are quite a few sanctuaries for rescued elephants and we chose the Maerim Elephant Sanctuary that our hostel Mad Monkey reccomended. If you’re ever in Chiang Mai and looking to hang with some elephants here’s the link Maerim Elephant Sanctuary

It was an all day event which kicked off with an atrociously early 9am pick up, stopping off at a 7-11 en route for essential cheese toasties and being dropped off in the evening like tired school children. We were lucky that our tour group was made up of the folk we had been travelling with, as it made for an entertaining day.

The itinary

The day was broken down into:

Meeting the elephants.

Feeding the elephants.

Visiting where the banana trees are grown and helping to chop them down (much easier than it sounds).

Making our lunch.

Walking with the elephants.

Mud bath with the eles.

Swimming with the elephants.

We met our hilarious guide for the day who gave us an introductory talk and the run down on some H&S do’s and don’ts.

The main points being don’t bend over if you drop their food (easy target), don’t stand behind them (obviously, they don’t come rear view mirrors or parking sensors yaknow), don’t walk away from them with their food in your hands or bag (their sence of smell is incredible and they’ll follow you until they’ve had every last gram of those sweet sugar canes or narnas you have). And finally and most importantly, because they have all been rescued from the illegal logging or circus industries and have had awful lives you must talk to them, pat them, give them hugs and basically be bffs with them for the day. I reckon we could do that, so deal.

Sexy blue clothes were provided for us, so we slipped them on and we were ready to meet our big beautiful friends. All the grown up elephants at the sanctuary were female and there was one baby boy, who was a naughty. little. shit. Cute as a wee button though like a real like version of Barber the elephant cartoon tv program.

After meeting them behind a fence we were allowed into their area to interact with them more closely.

After we hung out with them for a couple of hours we were taken to where the banana trees were grown and to help with cutting them down. This is way easier than it sounds especially with a machete. After we’d all shown off our excellent neandethal-machette-waving-chopping skills we were carted back to the ele camp via white knuckle ride on top of the van.

After lunch, was walking with the animals and a bit of schooling on elephant characteristics, elephant poo and elephant behaviour.

After we had sniffed a sufficient amount of elephant poo and could rattle of some facts (fyi 5 toenails on the front foot, 4 on the back) we took them for a mud bath. Though I reckon the ratio of mud to shit was like 70/30. Knee deep too. But those nellies need to be scrubbed with that mud and scrub is what we did. And then we had the obligatory mud slinging fight.

Finally after they (us) were covered in crap we went swimming with them to wash the mud off and to cool the animals down.

Literally. The. Best. Day. Ever.

So 2018 ended with a bang, quite literally. They set fireworks off in the street like it’s no big deal. It is, it’s terrifying. New year’s eve was spent in Phuket, but first let’s re ee-wind (when the crowd says bo selecta) to the beginning of our Thailand trip.

We finally arrived in Thailand the land of smiles, smooth roads and 7-11’s. Arriving in Chiang Rai which is a town in the north of the country and having eaten nothing but Oreos and Pringles for the past 8 hours we sprinted straight to the nearest 7-11. Now a 7-11 for those not in the know is essentially a really good Co-Op, they are everywhere, I mean you’re probably never more than 150 meters from one and they sell pretty much everything including the most delicious cheese toasties. So between Jack, Brooke, Emily and I, I think we cleared the shop of them. I mean jack did have 8, the boy can eat!

The next day we continued our journey to Chiang Mai staying at Mad Monkey for a few nights. This is where we hung out with elephants for the day (see the separate post about Nelly and her mates), went to a canyon water park where entrance was via water slide, went to a temple to chat with monks to improve their English and learn about Buddism. Chiang mai was also where Jack was propositioned by a lady boy.

After three nights here we took the 762 bend road and white knuckle ride up the mountain to Pai. Pai is a small town that truly encompasses the traveller hippie stereotype. It has the peace and love vibes truly down. We stayed in a hostel called Circus which is up in the mountains surrounded by jungle with incredible views and hot sunny weather, where they offer free classes in circus skills; hoop, poi, tight ropeand staff juggling. Plus they give free fire shows on the evening too.

Evenings here were spent at Walking Street in the town, where the streets are lined with food stalls, serving every kind of cuisine. I may or may not have had 4 dinners that night.

After Pai we headed back to Chiang Mai for a final night before flying down to Bangkok. Bangkok is loud, dirty and hot and full of people pulling you into bars as you walk past. We went to Khao San Road, which is the road at the beginning of the the film The Beach. This is the place for you if you want to eat scorpions, crickets or tarantulas, it’s a no from me thanks.

We descided to change plans last minute and head further south to Koh Pangnan for Christmas arriving on the 23rd. Koh Pangnan is where the famous jungle and full moon parties are held. For Christmas day we headed to the Masons Arms. A full on English pub, complete with a big wooden bar, beer garden and roast dinner. We hired a jeep out and headed to the beach after lunch, except we broke down. Turns out there was truth in the warning not to over load it. In our defence it’s not our fault the island is really hilly, plus Big Red looked powerful enough for 13 people.

The rest of the time on the island was spent exploring (We hired a new jeep and jack drove us around like a boss).

Koh Tao was the next island on the itinary, we stopped here for a quick 2 nights which isn’t nearly enough time for this super chilled, incredibly beautiful place. As soon as we arrived we hit the beach for the afternoon sun and sunset then booked onto a full day snorkling tour for the following day. It was totally tropical. We also went to a lady boy cabaret show, Jack was very popular among them.

Next up was Phuket and after a 11 hour journey split between boat, coach, minibus and a lot of hanging about I swear we’ll never moan about transport or delays again in the UK.

We saw in the near year at Paradise Beach at their full moon party, even though I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a full moon. We booked to stay in a 20 bed dorm as this was the only option left available and we were greeted with the best rooms and beds since we left the UK. Double beds, built into the wall, a nice little shelving unit, lights and plug sockets so you essentially have your own little room. Now we’ve stayed in the presidential suit of dorm rooms I’m not sure how we’ll cope back in bunk beds.

We’ll let you know though as we’re on the way to Phi Phi islands now for more tropical snorkling and activities. Though the weather forecast is predicting tropical storms so it might be Scramble and Cambio for a few days instead, keep your fingers crossed.

So if you are ever faced with the decision whether to take a bus, boat or plane to the next destination, stop, step back, and slap yourself for being so stupid you even considered anything other than flying. For let us tell you that the 22 hour bus is never fun, “the c’mon it, it’ll be an experience” isn’t a strong enough argument, you will be forced onto a rickety double decker, into a bed far to small, sleeping next to a stranger or a topless Will. And the 16 hour slow boat Laos to Thailand isn’t much better, add in an extra overnight stay, three extra buses and you might finally arrive. Lesson learnt. Get us to the airport.

After deciding that the group we met at Arcadia were pretty swell we decided to stick with them for another few days and travel to Koh Rong together. Unsure what to expect but told that the island of Koh Rong was beautiful, we weren’t disappointed.

We stayed at Malibu Hostel for 2 nights right on the beach in small bungalows. This sounds more glamorous than it was for the shower was little more than a drip, there was sand everywhere and we had a power cut for 24 hours. Eating by candle light isn’t so fun when it’s forced. The days spent on the island were pretty much filled with hanging about on the beach and swimming to the bottom of the sea picking up the sand to prove how deep you got.

We left Koh Rong on the 21st and took our first Cambodian sleeper bus to Siem Reap which had actual flat beds and power sockets. No more lying in a predetermined shape with 30% to last. Literally living the dream for 8 hours. We originally booked a couple of nights here but ended up staying for 5, mainly due to our hostel having an ace pool area and serving food (those tuna melts and mango daiquiris) 24/7. Peckish at 4am? no problem just put in your request and bingo. It’s easy to see how people get stuck in places, we could easily stay in Siem Reap for longer.

Days here were spent sightseeing;

Sunrise tour at Angor Wat.

Blessed by a monk.

Sunset tour of a fishing village and mangrove forest.

Waterfall and temple tour.

We headed to Battambang on 27th, stayed at Here Be Dragons Hostel and met up with Elle who we left in HCM a few weeks ago. We did more touristy things here: took a Tuk tuk tour of the city visiting a some temples, rode the bamboo train, walked along a sketchy looking suspension bridge, went to a Muslim Cambodium fishing village, took a cooking class and saw 10 million bats flying out their cave which is so much better than it sounds.

We also had an intense game of scrabble on the final night, with Nicola taking the lead early on with Dynasty, but then falling to third place behind Elle and Jack. But did either if you get dynasty or clique though? No.

After three nights we took the bus back to Siem Reap for a final stay here showing Elle the sights (the bar and tuna melts) before we left for Laos, land of the potholes and awful Wi-Fi. We stopped over for one night in Laos at Vientianne and squeezed in a gym session in what was pretty much the best equipped gym we’d been in (including in the UK) but in this guys house, literally hack squatting next to the lounge.

The next day we headed to Vang Vieng for 4 nights for some rock climbing, Kayaking, blue lagooning and river and cave tubing, meeting up with Brooke and Emily who we left after Koh Rong. Tubing is essentially floating on big tyre inner tubes, in the caves you follow a guide, a piece of rope, wearing a head torch whilst trying not to look for the spiders that have created the huge webs above you. On the river there is not guide or rope, just the instruction to be back by 8pm. You do it by yourself paddling to the bars dotted along the bank whilst navigating the rocks and tree trunks. Totally top fun. Until the sun goes down, it’s pitch black and you’re the only group left out there, cue panicked paddling to the first building we passed and persuading them to give us a lift back.

Our final Laos stop was Luang Prabang, we came here to see some waterfalls and they didn’t disappoint. Jack spent the evenings at the bowling alley, where rumour is he lost a game of Archery to Emily….. Nicola was struck down with the sickness bug that is now sweeping the group. We spent three nights here before making the terrible decision of the slow boat to Thailand. However the jungle and Mekong river views are pretty spectacular, even if we can’t feel our legs.

Just a shorty as we’ll let the photos do the talking and a picture is a thousand words right?

In a nutshell:

The elusive squash parcel arrived 10am Wednesday morning, so we finally left Vietnam on the 3pm bus to Cambodia that afternoon, arriving at Mad Monkey Hostel in Phnom Penh at 9.30pm. We crossed the border to Cambodia which was bizzar… luggage scanning machines with no one watching them, hopping off the bus to get your passport visa then on again to drive 20 meters then off to officially enter the county by foot. Also Cambodia uses both their own currency and the US dollar and it’s just plain confusing.

On Thursday we went to the Killing Fields, if you know you know and if you don’t, Google it.

We then caught the *bus to Kampot on Friday and stayed at Arcadia for 3 nights.

*note the buses in Cambodia are not on the same luxurious level as Vietnam. So when we say bus, imagine; full mini bus, bags on laps, knees by ears, very bumpy roads.

Arcadia is a hostel in the jungle with a water park on the river bank were the mosquitos carry denge fever and everyone walks around barefoot. It’s absolutely as good as it sounds and then some. We stayed in a dorm of 14 with a curtain for a room door and it is easily the best hostel to date. Great food, great people, great music, great games. We went on a sunset boat trip, Jack played football with some local children, rode half way up to Bokor National Park got caught in the rain bought ponchos, turned around and came back

Luckily for us we met some new people to replace the ones we lost (not really, luv da super 6 always n 4 eva) and have gone to Koh Rong with them.

Double dropping 2 blogs in one weekend. Say whaaaa.

So yeah we went to Phu Quoc for £53 for a return which is a bargain. Vietnam is the country that keeps on giving.

We arrived on the 7th for 4 nights with grand plans of having a tropical island experience, a bit of snorkelling, going to the beach and the gym. In reality we went to the beach once, got caught in the rain for an hour, didn’t make a single gym session and didn’t even see a snorkel mask.

We did however hire bikes again to explore the island (Jack drove). Over the course of the stay we:

Got caught in the rain

Went to Sao beach

Ate mostly at “no name BBQ”

Saw the sun set

Went to a waterfall….

To a pagoda……

Snuck into POW museum. (No photos)

We rode about for 3 hours over dirt tracks and unfinished roads trying to find 2 beaches, got sunburn and discovered a water and theme park instead.

Phu Quoc was nice, though it will be nicer in 5 years when it is finished being built, also when the smell of cat food has gone.

Now we’re back in Ho Chi Minh for a few days before we go to Cambodia.

So we found ourselves in the second cruddy hostel of the trip the other day. A perfect cube of a room, maybe slight longer in length (who’s measuring), dreary white washed walls, kind of like our own prison cell. An en suite which did function, but smelt kinda bad and the conjoining door was silly thing with the top and bottom missing so the smell wafted in. Add to that the cool air from the AC escaping into the bathroom and then outside as the door to our balcony (sounds far posher than it is) had daft ventilation slats in. So cold air out, hot air in along with all the noise from the party people having a wonderful time around the pool. All. Night. Long. Worst of all, it didn’t offer free breakfast. So it wasn’t the best. However we did a superb job of putting up the mosquito net, (once it had been sprayed it with deodorant) even though the string provided wasn’t long enough. Small victories.

Future pointers to remember when booking a hostel:

Only book one night, (you can extend if it passes all other points)

The photos on hostel world or booking.com must show the potential accommodation to be spectacular…Just as the camera adds 10lbs on humans, the lense also makes places appear at least 50% better looking.

Ensure the place has a free breakfast, because well it’s free and you are poor.

Unluckily for us we booked 4 nights, arrived, then immediately regretted our decision before even seeing our room, cancelled the booking, lost the deposit but are now in a nice bungalow with a huge pool, nice solid doors, a tv, free breakfast and life is just perky again.

Before we arrived in Phu Quoc to the horrid hostel we had been in Ho Chi Minh and before that, Mui Ne, and Da Lat.

Da Lat

We arrived to Da Lat at about 5pm, after the hottest bus journey in history (see previous post) and check into the Chili Villa, which was super fancy with a nice dorm room, lovely en-suite bathroom, fancy indoor pool and a nice breakfast (free of course-refer back to point 3 above). However the guy “welcoming” us at reception was rude. Rude, rude, rude, as soon as we arrived, he didn’t even say hello. Instead just went straight into “this isn’t a party hostel” (actual quote) no noise, no this, no that, no having fun, sign here now to acknowledge you will never smile whilst on the premises. So we stayed one night, then checked out. Shame really as there was 7 of us, but I’ve reviewed it on trip advisor….2 stars. Sorry not sorry Chili Villa.

The second night we stayed at Mr Peace Hostel, this was totally different; shared bathrooms on either the floors above or below, (you needed to have all belongings when showering or risk a naked dash) a big dorm of 12, rickety bunk beds and lots of noise. But super friendly vibes from the moment we all arrived, crazy decorations, including Christmas ones which I’m sure were still up from last year and some lovely up cycling of beer cans into butterfly’s, plus peace and love quotes all over the walls…so cliche and I love it. Dead friendly and heaps of fun, 5 stars for you Mr Peace.

We did lots of touristy things in Da Lat; visited the Crazy House – don’t be fooled-unlike the name suggests it isn’t all that crazy, the night markets, the Maze Bar which totally as the name suggests is a maze and you may get lost in, the high ropes and roller coaster park, the lake where Jack went on the pedal boats, and Nicola also found a bakery and has now renamed the whole visit as “Da Lat, 24 hours of pastries” (15 fyi, these guys know how to bake).

Jack also found an amazing BBQ restaurant where we ate at on the second night. We were also the only westerners in there, so got a few stares when we walked through.

Ho Chi Minh

After Da Lat we travelled (night bus of course) to Ho Chi Minh. We arrived at 6am, and couldn’t check in until 1pm, so slept on the sofas in the entrance for a few hours until we were told to move. I’m not sure why, perhaps they didn’t think 4 people sleeping looked professional? I think it showed just how comfy the sofas were, an advert to other hostel users. After we were told to move we went for coffee, what else do you do when you haven’t showered or slept properly and look questionable except hang out in a posh coffee place…..

Anyway we planned to be here for Halloween and stayed at a hostel right in the main area. Halloween was crazy, you couldn’t move at all down the main strip or near by streets and every one was dressed up.

We visited the War Remnants Museum on the Thursday (definitely worth a visit but be prepared for some graphic stories and photos) and the Cu Chi Tunnels on The Friday. We got to crawl through some of the tunnels which was great fun. More so as they’re very small, very cramped and very dark and Jack is not made for small spaces.

Jack also got to shoot an AK 47.

Mui Ne

The next day our wonderful group spilt up, we plan on seeing our angry Australians next year when we go to Sydney, and Elle when we hit up Cambodia in a couple of weeks. So as a three (we still have Will) we caught a day sleeper bus to Mui Ne on Saturday 3rd arriving at half past 4ish. Mui Ne is a small beach town famous for water sports and sand dunes. We spent 3 nights here at Vietnam Backpackers Hostel, the weather was super hot and sunny so we were able to hang out by the pool and meet loads of other people. Jack visited the sand dunes on a sunset tour and went quad biking along them. He also got to visit a fishing village and Fairy Springs too. Unfortunately Nicola made herself sick from drinking a lemon drink from the local shop in a bid to find something to substitute squash and had to miss the tour, spending most of the time in the toilet block.

The first night in Mui Ne we went out for dinner to Mr Crabs and made friends with some locals through the universal language of thumbs up and laughter…mainly at Will for skulling his drink too slowly.

After Mui Ne, we headed back to Ho Chi Minh for one night before flying to Phu Quoc.

There are many wonderful things about Vietnam we have discovered (perhaps we’ll do a list), but one has to be the mighty Bahn Mi. We’ve been having one most days along with Moosies (if you know you know, super 7 were looking at you…everyone else it’s a smoothie) Basically a Bahn Mi is a small baguette filled with meat and sauce and they sell them everywhere ranging from 10k-30k. (10k=33p) An absolute taste sensation bargain. I’m already looking forward to tomorrow’s one…

Phong Nha – Hue – Da Nang – Hoi An – Nha Trang.

Thirty degrees. 26 hot bodies (temperature not aesthetically) one small bus, a very bumpy road and a 5 hour journey. Thought I’d set the scene, it must be our karma, the yin to our yang, the universe serving us some unlucky travelling conditions and balancing out the scales from the most excellent ten or so days….

Phong Nha

So we arrived to Phong Nha at about 4.30am on Wednesday and checked into Easy Tiger, you can’t pre book any rooms here as it’s so popular, so you just turn up and hope they have room. And lucky us they did, a dorm for 6 was available and had our name on it for two nights, actually the dorms are named after animals, we were in “sheep”. Phong Nha is a small town but obviously a popular stop off for backpackers as since leaving we have seen people we met here at all other places we have been afterwards.

The first day we hired bikes and cycled around the town, passing a group of Vietnamese women in their English lesson, and they asked us to stop and talk to them to help with their English (they were learning about how to check in). One of the ladies had a cafe close by so they took us there for coffees and discovered we had been drinking it wrong, you need to stir it for ages then sip it, not that we listened, we necked them like we have been doing since arriving the country.

After we went for another cycle around Phong Nha, bought a portable speaker, whacked it in Jacks basket and blasted some music as we cycled. Every time we passed a child they would yell “hello” and hold out their hand for a high five, super fun.

That evening will go down in history, or Chinstery. We dressed in our best tourist shirts, the self titled super six were looking matchy matchy and fresh, we had ourselfs a great evening at the hostel, took advantage of the free beer on offer from 5-7 and got funky with the live music. We then moved to a local bar, where Bree our small angry Australian tripped and fell forward and in almost majestic slow motion face planted a bar stool foot rest and split her chin wide open. The hostel sent us to a crappy near by hospital. It was a bit odd and there were ants everywhere so we left. To cut a long story short, her chin is fine now, but that really did ruin what was on route to being a top night. This was also the first time the first aid kid we had packed got used.

The next day we visited Phong Nha caves, took a little boat to get to one, did a disgustingly sweaty climb up a hill to get in another one and discovered that caves are just as hot inside as it is outside. Then we hired scooters again. Jack was once again great on the bikes, Nicola was once again crap.

Hue

On Friday we left Phong Nha and caught a bus south to Hue (pronounced hwey, maybe? no one is too sure). We stayed in the first shitty place of the trip so far, Bonjour Hostel. They only had 2 towels for our room of 4, and it’s a good thing we bought sleeping bag liners as I really question the cleanliness of the fleeces throws provided as bed blankets. But for £4 for the night it was a bargain, plus they threw in a free Cockroach and the first spider incident of the trip (we had to get the reception man to get rid of our eight legged bathroom roomie as it was way too big).

Hai Van Pass

Saturday 20th.

We chose to bike from Hue to Da Nang via the Hai Van Pass, a 4-5 hour drive. We hired bikes and arranged for our bags to be sent to the hostel in Da Nang. Due the lack of bike progress on the roads from Nicola, Jack drove and Nicola was on the back. On the way we stopped off at an old abandoned water park in Hue and ignored the “official” guy shouting at us for money to enter. Turns out Vietnam is full of not-so-official-officials telling you to pay to park or walk or swim or breathe in places

We also stopped off at Elephant Springs on the way, this is a waterfall with rock pools you can swim in, and rocks shaped like elephants.

The Hai Van Pass is a top Gear-esk stretch of road 21km long through the mountains famous for its panoramic views, we arrived here just before twilight.

Da Nang

We arrived in Da Nang in the evening after the longest day of driving and stayed in our hostel which was made out of shipping containers. The following morning was spent at the beach before we drove the last 30mins to Hoi An to stay the night at another hostel. We stayed at Vietnam backpackers and all the rooms are named after animals, we were in Rhino and on the third floor but room number 403, dead confusing when you’re drunk and all floors look the same.

Hoi An

In the evening we went into the Old Quater where there was a lantern festival and paid for an over priced 15 minute boat trip. Jack lost a game of Odds On and had to eat Eel.

On Monday 22nd we moved hostels again to one 5 minutes down the road called Tribee Ede (pronounced tribeey eedey), we stayed here for 3 nights mainly to have some sleep as the constant travelling around is cream crackering. The best way to meet people is to stay in party hostels but sleep is pretty hard when there’s a different happy hour every hour. It was also nice to be able to unpack for a few days and not live out of our back packs and do laundry again. You have no idea how much of a stench dirty clothes can kick up in your bag. Pungent. Tribee Ede was recommended for us to stay at by people we met at Halong Bay and we bumped into a bunch of them here too. Hoi An is a super cool beach town, it has amazing weather and everybody is so friendly. The main activities over the 4 days spent here were snorkelling, cycling about, going to the gym and hanging at the beach. Our hostel also had a great all you can eat buffet, very important when choosing accommodation.

We took a day trip snorkling to Cham Island on Wednesday 24th. We were picked up at 8am snorkled at 2 spots, had lunch and then were back by 5. We spent the evening in the bar playing Cambio (Nicola has now won and beat Jack twice) before going to a full moon party, though I’m not sure it actually was a full moon.

Na Trang

We left Hoi An on Thursday 25th and got the 5pm night bus to Na Trang. Our longest bus ride so far…12 hours. We then squeezed 7 people plus the driver and all baggage into 6 seater for the last leg of the journey to our hostel. There really is no health and safety here and no real rules on the roads.

We stayed at Vietnam Backpackers in Ninhvana Nha Trang, part of a chain of hostels across Vietnam (the one we stayed in for one night in Hoi An was also one) and this place was more like a beach resort than hostel. The two days spent here were literally spent doing nothing except hanging out at the hostel which was right on the beach and staying round the pool. That tough back packer life hits again. They had a bunch of activities of every day including football with the locals at 5pm where every one kept saying how good Jack was.

So after our 5 hour trip today we are now in Da Lat for a couple of nights before moving on South again.

We’ve done 6 places and 7 hostels in 11 days. Met met so many people. Asked the same questions to everyone, how long have you been travelling? where have you been? North to South? Where are you going next? Had a ridiculous number of spring rolls. Jack has taken a record number of naps. And Nicola has the heaviest bag of everyone.

Hoi An is definitely a favourite so far. The snorkling stole the show.

So the 6.30 bus to Sapa was a sleeper bus. And it turns out a sleeper bus is quite fun; firstly it’s shoes off at the door this is your house for the next 6 hours you know, then you get a bed, pillow and a blanket. Snug. Throw in a bunch of mates and you’re in for a great time. Jack the giant got the whole back row of three beds to himself, traveling in style has nothing on him…..

Once we arrived, had food eaten with more crappy chopsticks technique, and found accommodation we went shopping for snacks. Now as a pair we’ve always been good at snack shopping covering all bases of savoury and sweet but as a group we are powerful. Anyway we stayed at Zizi’s Homestay up in the mountains for a “proper authentic” taste of Sapa life. Animals walking by, mosquito nets, big communal sleeping area (for guests only), mattresses on the floor, and a litter of puppies.

Big thanks to whoever told us to bring warm clothes because it was so cold. And damp. Double socks and sleeping in jumpers was the dealio.

Sapa is in the north west of Vietnam, high in the mountains and its beautiful countryside made up of tribes each speaking their own language grows rice.

Rice field and bamboo forest trekking is the deal in Sapa, so thats what we did on Friday 12th. Luckily we were able to use wellie boots Zizi had, and thank fuck we did because a trek here is not like a trek in the UK. Mud. Thick mud. Slippery mud. Deep mud. For 4 hours. We were joined by some locals too who made us little animal gifts out of grass and helped when we got stuck in the mud, how kind. Well No. Not how kind. It was all a sales tactic. A bloody expensive one. “I help you, you help me. You buy”. A bag, scarf and 500k lighter and we returned back to the homestay crying. Though we did get free friendship bracelets thrown in. Highlights of the trek were the bamboo forest, the waterfall and the constant breaking into song. There is a song for every trekking mood.

After the madness of Halong Bay it was nice to detox up in the country. Amelie taught us how to play a card game called Cambio and we drank coffee all day. Most of the bill at check out was coffee. Like, Zizi’s coffee was the best so far.

On Saturday 13th we hung about all day, had dinner down in a fancy cafe after walking a mile in the rain avec backpacks to find it and caught the 10pm night bus back to Hanoi arriving at 3.50am. The bus was rammed there were people sitting in the isles and everyone was cold and soaked from getting caught in the rain. We went back to central backpackers hostel where we were able to sleep in the movie room on old bean bags until 8am and get our laundry done. Nicola had completely run out of clothes. As a group of 6 we descided to continue travelling on South together to Ninh Binh on Monday so stayed at Central for another night. – If your looking for a good place to stay then go here, super friendly staff, happy hour and free beer everyday. Plus Bill (real name Dux) translated a letter for us into Vietnamese, so we did his English homework for him.

The Sunday before we left for Ninh Binh we hung out in Hanoi, went to the Post it Coffee cafe and took the other guys to the railway street cafe to see the train and for more banana coffee. I’m not sure what they put on the coffee over here, crack maybe? Who cares we’ll have another. We also finally found a gym in Hanoi.

Monday 15th

We took the 8am bus to Ninh Binh, a short 2 hour trip and stayed at TA Mountain Homestay. Ninh Binh is like Halong Bay except no water. Just huge limestone rocks erupting from the ground. Insane. As a group we hired bikes and went to watch the sun set and had to climb 670 huge steps up for the privilege only for the sun go behind a big mountain. Obviously of course Jack is a pro at riding bikes. Nic, not so much, sticking at a sensible 30-35kph.

Tues 16th.

So we’re currently on our way to Phang Nha on yet another night bus, there really is no better way to travel….except when the toilet is 50 degrees and dangerously blocked, one big bump in the road and I reckon it’s game over. After a late start today due to some group horoscope reading, accent impersonating and a flawless rendition of the rap from ‘My Humps’ by The Black Eyed Peas by Jack, Will and Bree we decided to have a chilled day (backpacking is tiring, really) and headed into Ninh Binh town for lunch, where Jack bought a banana and a pineapple shirt (2 separate garments, not one really shit fruit salad one).

The last few days have been filled with laughter and Cambio. Where Jack of course is good at yet another game and Nicola is yet to win a game, however is showing great improvement since first learning. We have played at every opportunity waiting for the bus, waiting for dinner, before bed, evening entertainment, in bars and in the tattoo shop……